Themselves is the standard reflexive pronoun for a plural subject, like “they cleaned themselves up.” Themself is a newer singular form used with singular “they,” as in “someone left themself a note.”
Most style guides and formal writing still prefer themselves in every case. But themself is gaining ground fast, especially in casual and gender neutral writing.If you only remember one rule, remember this. Use themselves for groups. Use themself only for one person when “they” refers to that single person.
Is “Themself” a Real Word?
Yes, themself is a real word. It is not slang and it is not a typo.Dictionaries like Merriam-Webster now list themself as a valid entry. It works as the singular reflexive form of “they” when “they” points to one specific person.Here is what makes this confusing. Older grammar books call themself wrong. They were written before singular “they” became common.
That has changed. Modern English grammar has shifted to make room for a gender neutral pronoun that avoids guessing at someone’s gender. Themself fills that gap.So the word is real, but it is still newer and less traditional than themselves. Many teachers and editors will still flag it in formal work.
What Do “Themself” and “Themselves” Mean?
Both words are reflexive pronouns. A reflexive pronoun shows that the subject and the object of a sentence are the same person or people.
Themselves means the action loops back to more than one person. Example: “The kids fed themselves breakfast.”
Themself means the action loops back to one person, referred to with singular “they.” Example: “Each guest can help themself to snacks.”
Think of it like this. Themselves is the plural partner to words like “yourselves” and “ourselves.” Themself is the singular partner to “yourself” and “myself.”
Themself vs. Themselves: Key Differences
The core difference comes down to number. One word is plural. One word is singular.
| Feature | Themselves | Themself |
| Grammatical number | Plural | Singular |
| Refers to | A group of people | One person (singular they) |
| Formal writing status | Standard and accepted | Still informal in most style guides |
| Common in | Academic papers, business writing, exams | Blogs, social media, inclusive writing |
| Example | The team praised themselves. | The manager introduced themself. |
| Dictionary status | Long established | Recently added |
Notice that both words describe the same idea. The subject is also the object. The only real question is whether you are talking about one person or many.
When Should You Use “Themself”?
Use themself when “they” clearly means one person and you want to avoid gendered pronouns like “himself” or “herself.”
Here are common situations where themself fits naturally.
- When someone’s gender is unknown or not stated
- When a person identifies as nonbinary and uses “they” pronouns
- When you are writing in a casual or conversational tone
- When you want a smoother sentence than “himself or herself”
Some example sentences:
- The new employee introduced themself to the team.
- Someone forgot themself at the front desk.
- A good leader should never doubt themself.
- The customer served themself at the buffet.
These sentences all point to one unnamed or gender neutral individual. That singular focus is the signal to reach for themself.
When Should You Use “Themselves”?
Use themselves any time you are talking about more than one person. This is the safe, traditional, and widely accepted choice.
It also works as the singular form in most formal writing, even when many people would naturally say themself out loud.
Example sentences:
- The players celebrated themselves after the win.
- Students should ask themselves this question before the exam.
- Every employee must identify themselves at the front gate.
- The committee members organized themselves quickly.
Notice the third example. “Employee” is singular, but tradition still calls for themselves in formal grammar. This is one reason the debate exists at all.
Grammar Rules for Reflexive Pronouns
Reflexive pronouns follow a simple pattern across English. They match the subject in number and, traditionally, in gender.
Here is the full family of reflexive pronouns for reference.
| Subject | Reflexive Pronoun |
| I | Myself |
| You (singular) | Yourself |
| He | Himself |
| She | Herself |
| It | Itself |
| We | Ourselves |
| You (plural) | Yourselves |
| They (plural) | Themselves |
| They (singular) | Themself or Themselves |
A few quick rules to keep in mind:
- Reflexive pronouns always point back to the subject of the sentence
- Plural subjects always take themselves
- Singular “they” can technically take either themself or themselves, depending on formality
- Never mix reflexive pronouns with object pronouns, such as saying “him and myself went to the store”
Also Read This: Oxymoron vs Juxtaposition: What’s the Difference?
What Do Major Style Guides Recommend?
Style guides do not fully agree yet, which adds to the confusion. Here is a quick breakdown.
| Style Guide | Position |
| Merriam-Webster | Lists themself as correct for singular they |
| APA (7th Edition) | Accepts singular they and themself |
| Chicago Manual of Style | Prefers themselves, recommends caution with themself |
| AP Style | Leans toward themselves for singular subjects |
The safest approach for formal writing, academic papers, and professional documents is to default to themselves. Save themself for casual writing, internal messages, or content where inclusive language matters most.
If you are ever unsure which one to use, check your organization’s style guide first. When there is no guide, themselves remains the safer, more widely accepted pick.
Why Has “Themself” Become More Common?
The rise of singular they is the biggest reason. More people now use “they” as their personal pronoun, and language naturally adapts to match.
Inclusive language has also pushed writers away from clunky phrases like “himself or herself.” Themself offers a cleaner, faster alternative.
Social media and online writing move quickly and favor natural speech patterns. Many people already say themself out loud, so it feels normal in casual text too.
Finally, dictionaries and some style guides have started to catch up with how people actually talk. That official recognition speeds up wider acceptance.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Even confident writers slip up here. Watch for these frequent errors.
- Using theirself or theirselves, which are not standard English at all
- Using themself in strict academic or legal writing without checking the required style guide
- Mixing themselves and himself/herself in the same piece when referring to the same person
- Assuming themself is always wrong, when many dictionaries now accept it
- Forgetting that themselves is still correct for singular they in most formal contexts
A simple fix is to reread your sentence and count how many people you are actually describing. That single check solves most mistakes instantly.
Quick Decision Guide: Which One Should You Choose?
Use this short guide anytime you get stuck mid sentence.
- Are you talking about more than one person? Use themselves.
- Are you talking about one person with an unknown or nonbinary gender? Either word can work, but themself feels more natural in casual writing.
- Are you writing something formal, academic, or professional? Choose themselves to stay safe.
- Are you writing a blog post, text message, or casual email? Themself is perfectly fine.
When in real doubt, themselves will never be marked wrong. Themself is correct too, but it depends more on your audience and setting.
Myths and Facts About “Themself” and “Themselves”
Let’s clear up a few common misunderstandings.
Myth: Themself is not a real word. Fact: It appears in major dictionaries and is accepted for singular they.
Myth: Themselves can never be used for one person. Fact: Themselves is actually the traditional singular reflexive form too, and it still works in formal writing.
Myth: Themself is brand new slang. Fact: Themself actually appears in older English texts, long before modern debates about singular they began.
Myth: Only one of these words is ever correct. Fact: Both are correct, depending on whether your subject is singular or plural and how formal your writing needs to be.
Conclusion
The choice between themself and themselves really comes down to two things: how many people you mean, and how formal your writing needs to be.Themselves remains the safest, most universally accepted option, whether you are describing a group or a single person in traditional writing. Themself is a modern, singular alternative that fits naturally into casual, conversational, and inclusive writing.Neither word is truly wrong. Once you know the context, picking the right one becomes second nature.
